I used to
call my internal editor "Mom" but I realized recently that I have
more than one internal editor and they sure aren't Mom! So now I was facing
internal editors that were telling me I'm no good, no one wants to read what I
write and why bother, as well as editors saying "That word? Why in the
world are you using that word?"
and "Shouldn't you use a semi-colon there and hey, you're not supposed to
use any exclamation marks." And the worst one wasthe one that kept telling
me I can get to it later.
There were
so many of these bothersome things I knew I couldn't name them all and keep
them straight in my head. And I knew if I called one of them by the wrong name,
it would get all huffy and give me an even harder time. In desperation one day,
I screamed "Would all of you slut monkeys please go find another
corner?" It shut them up for a few minutes but then they were back in
force. But now I had a name for those pesky internal editors – Slut Monkeys.
But I still
had no idea how to shut them up until I truly needed them, when it was time to
edit my first drafts, and second, and third. I tried to appease them by telling
them they are welcome to hang around but aren't to bother me until I invited
them. They just laughed and turned up the volume.
I resorted
to listening to the monkey that advocated procrastination. The TV had something
interesting on and I'd write later. I really did need to see if Amazon had
posted any more free Kindle books I wanted to download. My ideas could wait
until after… You name it, the monkey found some reason to talk me into NOT writing.
The monkey was winning and it knew it.
Then one
day, on a whim, I pulled out the writing prayer beads my partner, Lisa, bought
me for Christmas a few years ago. I carry them with me everywhere I go and pull
them out and lay them across the top of the keyboard when I write. But on this
day, I held them in my hand and did a guided meditation, moving my hand from
bead to bead as I named my intentions for the day – none of which had anything
to do with writing.
When I
finished I realized I had gone deeper than I had for a long time and wondered
if the beads had anything to do with it. I mentioned the phenomenon to a friend
who also meditates and she admitted she uses prayer beads all the time –
different ones for different types of meditation and prayer. She asked me why
none of my intentions were about writing and I was at a loss. After
considerable thought I realized it was the slut monkeys' fault. They had
intimidated me into believing I wasn't truly a writer.
"Nonsense,"
my friend said. "Meditate with the intention of writing as soon as you're
done and let me know what happens."
The next day
I followed my friend's advice and low and behold the monkeys left me alone. I
could almost hear them snoring in the background. In calming my mind, I also
calmed them and they were able to rest up to bother me later about something
that had nothing to do with writing.
Now
meditation with the intention of writing is a part of my writing preparation.
When I take a shortcut and don't meditate, the monkeys rejoice and are they
ever loud in their partying.
Will
meditation put your slut monkeys to rest, at least temporarily? I don’t know.
You'll have to try it for yourself. But it works for me and not just for
writing. I try to find time to quiet my mind before tackling any kind of task
that uses a lot of brain cells. I'm able to concentrate and be much more productive
without the monkeys' constant yammering that I'm doing it wrong and shouldn't
even be trying in the first place.
So what do
you do to prepare to write? Any routines, superstitions, must dos for you?
